Police and DHS officials surround an undisclosed location in relation to Thursday morning's "global crash" of the Twitter social network, as new information comes to light on the prime suspect....
"We're taking this matter very, very seriously," stated DHS head Janet Napolitano. "Especially in light of the most recent information. This is potentially a bad, bad man. This is not some two-bit convicted bomber or cyberstalker who brags about his concealable handguns. This is someone who has attended multiple Tea Party events and a very large number of functions where Republicans were present, as well as being a member of some fringe Christian cult."
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Three Beers Later...: TWITTER CRASH SCANDAL WIDENS!